Three Years.
Ten Months.
Fourteen Days.
But it’s time to go home.
New York has been incredible, and heartbreaking, and strengthening. I came to this City with Big Dreams and will continue to hold on to them when I return to San Francisco. I have learned and grown A LOT.
I’m not really sure how to put all this into words. Sometimes I’d be walking to/from work, an audition, a yoga class, a meeting with a friend… and I would look up at the buildings and think, “I can’t believe I live here.” New York is a place we see in the movies or on TV, but no one really lives there. But I did. And some days I kicked her ass, and sometimes she kicked mine. Sometimes we found a compromise. Sometimes…
New York is all the good and bad things at once. The beautiful architecture, every kind of food you could ever want (they are SO right about the bagels), dozens of languages & cultures, access to some of the most incredible visual and performance art and music. The list of things to see and do is endless!
Then there is the GRIND, too many people on too little sidewalk, the subway woes, the lines for everything, the garbage, the dirty, slushy snow… The days where I felt infinitesimally alone amidst eight million strangers. You can definitely be lonely even when you’re surrounded by people.
But, oh, the people. My friends, my COMMUNITY — they are the ones that help me through. If you ever move to a new place alone, that is my advice: Find a buddy! I am so thankful for my two original roommates, Anna and Julia, my grad school brother, Ryan, my college comrade (and best Lady Date), Michelle, my Bay Area acting babe, Nicole, who introduced me to Kayla and Joni, who then introduced me to my baseball buddy, Sander, and all the rest that came after!
I had the ultimate pleasure to find a theater community with AMiOS (“Art & Music in Our Souls”) who produces a monthly short play festival called SHOTZ! amidst many other projects. Artistic Director, Justin Yorio and AMiOS provided a creative home for me. I participated as an actor with Shotz 15 times, I wrote two pieces, and I co-produced one full night of shows. I played everything from a widowed old lady to a boy-crazy chicken. They are the best. The. BEST! I have joined their Patreon account (you can donate as little as $1.50/month) because I believe in what they do and I want to continue to support their work no matter where I live. Please consider supporting them, too!
Shout-out to my badass Witches at Spicy Witch Productions who cast me in my first (and only) official production in New York. They produce two plays in rep each year — a re-telling of a classic story, and a newly written adaptation based on that story. Everything on the production side is done by female and female-identifying artists. So you know they get sh*t DONE!
Scared of Shakespeare? You don’t have to be with Match:Lit. Their mission is to make Shakespeare more accessible to audiences of all ages. They also focus on diverse and inclusive casting. I performed in two of their Reading Series — BARDcore — and had the most fun!
Joining Actors Equity Association, the union for professional actors, gave me access to numerous audition opportunities. I also found listings through Backstage, Actors Access, Playbill, and other websites to self-submit. I probably sent well over a thousand email/online submissions. The reason I went to New York was to act. So I applied and went to as many auditions as I could. The grand total?
615
I went to 615 auditions in my almost four years in New York. (I know because I keep a spreadsheet).
Out of all of those auditions I booked one show and two readings. SHOTZ doesn’t require auditions and any other readings I participated in was because I was asked directly. Relationships are key, it is definitely about who you know, but you have to have the hard work, talent, and perseverance to make it happen. I might look at that number and feel discouraged, but instead I feel like a freakin’ ROCKSTAR. I know I have the hard work, talent, and perseverance to make it happen. And I will. And my time is coming.
My biggest support over these last almost four years (and really for the last twelve), continues to be my fiancé, Will. I am elated to return home to him and in just a few weeks, become his partner for life. (He liked it, so he put a ring on it!) Thank you, Buttface.
I am beyond thankful to my family and friends and everyone who encouraged me in New York from all over the dang world. I am the luckiest lady. My heart is so full of love for this City and everyone positive that I encountered. I will miss them the most. And weirdly miss other things…like the bagels.
In the words of the glorious Joni Mitchell: “California, I’m coming home…”